Inner Turmoil
by Rileyanna
Summary: Raph comes home from a disturbing nightly trip to the roofs of NYC. Whatever happened affects him greatly as his brothers can only watch as he slowly slips from their grasp.


**Hello everyone! **

**A small introduction: yo! My name is Riley! This is not my first fantiction ever but it is in the TMNT fandom. So this is a story that I had in my head for quite a while. This will be multichaptered.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing, except my story...**

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It wasn't the first time Raphael had come back to the lair like this. Often had he come home to his brothers like he had been run over by truck. This time it may have been a little bit worse than the usual injuries though. His left ankle felt like it was about to explode, he knew there were several deep gashes on his shoulders and arms and he had to keep his right eye closed due to a swelling. One of those damn Purple Dragons had thrown a good punch at his face before Raphael had thrown him with his head against the pavement of the darkened alleyway.

He had gone out alone again even though he knew no one really approved of his nightly trips to the roofs and alleys of New York City. Raphael rather avoided his whole family when he got back but seeing his ankle had swollen to the size of a giant watermelon, he admitted that it was probably best to wake up Donatello and have him look at the injury.

The road home was bad, but the drop through the manhole was the worst. He lowered himself through it so his feet were hovering only a few inches above the ground and he had to let himself fall. As soon as his left foot touched the solid floor and his weight was put on it, he had to refrain himself from screaming in pain. He'd had worse, that was true, but still, pain was not something he really appreciated to deal with.

Donatello's room was dark, as the only source of light was the glow that came from the living room through the open door. Raphael looked around. His brother's room was a mess, just like Michelangelo's. Different unidentified mechanical stuff covered the floor and Raphael had to think carefully about every step, afraid of stepping on something and breaking it. Once he reached his older brother, he saw that the turtle was already awake.

"What is it, Raph?" he whispered, clearly irritated, "What do you want?"

Raphael knew that Donnie was not really fond of having to take care of his injuries, especially at four in the morning.

"I think I sprained my ankle," he answered. Donnie got up from bed and walked out the door towards the small infirmary that he had arranged and furnished, and Raphael followed his brother.

The infirmary was a small room with wooden shelves stuffed with all kinds of medical supplies that Donatello and his brothers had 'stolen' from a local hospital and in the middle of the room was an old chair that they had found in a former dental practice. Donatello motioned for Raphael to sit down on said chair.

"Let me take a look at your cuts first," he said as he pointed at the bloody gashes that covered Raphael's arms and shoulders.

"Goddamn Purple Dragon scum," Raphael muttered to himself as Donatello was cleaning his wounds.

"You know, it would save us a lot of trouble if you just stayed home sometimes," the 'doctor' told the red clad turtle without looking up from the work at hand, "You would, for once, get a good night's worth of sleep and that goes for me too. I'm sorry, but I'm sick and tired of having to treat your injuries every time. Don't get me wrong, I want you to be okay, but I can't handle the thought that you get yourself injured for no good reason."

That last sentence seemed to stir up something inside Raphael as his good left eye narrowed to a slit.

"No good reason? I saved that girl's ass fer god's sake! I p-protected her! Ain't that reason not good enough?" Raphael fumed, "Ya know what? I can do it myself!" Raphael got up from the dental chair, grabbed a random swathe from one of the shelves and limped out of the room, leaving a confused Donatello.

Whatever happened tonight, it had clearly set something off inside Raphael. All that was needed to set him off was one simple sentence. Donatello hated to admit it but that was impetuous, even for Raph.

Raphael had always been the emotional one in their family. All his feelings and emotions drifted on the surface. He had the fiercest reaction to everything and that made him an easy target for teasing from his brothers at their young age.

"Raphie is a dummie! Raphie is a dummie!" Michelangelo chanted as he danced around a dejected six year old Raphael who had his head down and his hands clenched to tight little fists.

"S-shut up!" he yelled at his only younger brother, tears already visible in his eyes.

"Haha, stutter, stutter, stutter!" Donatello laughed at his younger brother as the teary eyed turtle tried to speak clearly without repeating syllables or letters and desperately tried to keep his tears from falling, failing miserably at both.

"L-leo! T-tell them to s-st-top!"

Leonardo folded his arms with a grin, "What did you say,Raphie-boy? Can't understand you if you keep stuttering."

Raphael had always hated that nickname. It made it sound like he was adressed as a naughty little boy who had stolen a cookie from the cookie jar, not like he had never done that. Donatello didn't remember how the nickname had come to be. It was probably something Michelangelo had come up with and the others had taken it over from their youngest brother.

Raphael hardened over the years. The emotions that once were so visible and apparent sunk down to the bottom of his soul behind an iron facade of anger and irritation. His stuttering had lessened because of him taking on this Brooklyn accent that left out certain syllables or letters at some point. Because of this, Raphael doubted his pronunciation of the english language less and he became more confident about his speaking, slowly leaving behind his small speaking impairment. But Donnatello hadn't missed that small relapse just now. Donatello had become what you could call an expert at reading between Raphael's lines where his other two brothers sometimes seemed to disregard the underlying meaning of their hotheaded brother. Raphael only relapsed when he was distressed or in inner turmoil. Something was wrong.

At that moment a loud crashing sound woke up everyone in the lair. And if they weren't awakened by the crash, they were by the loud cursing that now filled the lair. It came from the bathroom. Raph.

Leonardo was up in a second after hearing something shatter. The swearing and cursing that came to his ears the next second had him realize that his younger brother had come home.

The noise had come from the bathroom, so that was where Leonardo went to see what was going on. What he found was actually quite the scene.

Raphael was leaning against the wall with cuts and bruises all over his arms, panting and holding his bleeding knuckles against his plastron. His left knee was pulled up, lifting his foot off the ground and putting his full weight on the other. The mirror that had once hung on the wall, was now nothing more than broken shards on the tiled floor. An abandoned swathe lied on the floor in a small heap.

Raphael had noticed Leonardo in the door opening without looking up. As expected.

"What happened?" the blue clad turtle asked.

"I ain't gonna play the third degree with ya, Fearless," Raphael sneered as he seperated his shell from the wall, walked across the broken mirror and pushed past his eldest brother and the remaining members of his family that had also rushed towards the bathroom after hearing him smash the mirror to pieces.

"I am not interrogating you, Raph! I just want to know why you shattered the mirror, why you're bloody all over and why you're limping," Leonardo stated calmly as he sided with Splinter, Michelangelo and Donatello to watch Raphael's retreating form.

"Ain't none o' ya business!" Raphael yelled fiercely, as he slammed the door in his family's face.

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**So? I'd love to know what you guys think.. no flames please, for my gentle soul would not handle it well. **

**Anyway, review? **

**Xx Riley**


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